I'm in Coventry city centre. Please help me... I'm in Coventry city centre. I don't know quite how i arrived at the place i am now, other than the coffee was acceptable and the ham and cheese pannini went down quite well. You see, i seek out the smaller independent coffee shops rather than join the sheepish throngs at the corporate coffee shops with their long queues, packed tables, crap beverages and over enthusiastic barristas smiling the smile of an otherwise out of work media graduate.
So there i was, minding my own business when he passed before me. A rather large chap hoved into view, a huge dark shadow falling over the table where i sat. He was wearing worn out desert camouflage trousers, red socks and sandals. It was all i could do to stop myself from exhaling coffee and pannini bits onto the window through which i saw him. To top it off, he had a shaved, bald head and a tattoo of a barcode on the back of his head. Yep, you read that right, a barcode... Tattoo'ed... On his head. What that barcode would reveal should he ever scan himself through a checkout i can only guess at...
'Beep'... re-scan 'Beep'... Twat (XXL) 320lbs, Second hand, £1.42p. That's my guess.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
So there i was, minding my own business when he passed before me. A rather large chap hoved into view, a huge dark shadow falling over the table where i sat. He was wearing worn out desert camouflage trousers, red socks and sandals. It was all i could do to stop myself from exhaling coffee and pannini bits onto the window through which i saw him. To top it off, he had a shaved, bald head and a tattoo of a barcode on the back of his head. Yep, you read that right, a barcode... Tattoo'ed... On his head. What that barcode would reveal should he ever scan himself through a checkout i can only guess at...
'Beep'... re-scan 'Beep'... Twat (XXL) 320lbs, Second hand, £1.42p. That's my guess.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
No comments:
Post a Comment