I walk up to the counter of the local petrol station and offer the surly, callow youth my hard earned cash for the fuel at pump number 4. A fresh, crisp £20 pound note, to pay for the fresh, crisp 10 Litres of petrol.
Callow youth: "Would you like some chocolate? Only one pound a bar..?"
Me: "No, thank you very much."
Callow youth: "Coffee, Tea...?"
Me: (Sigh) "No, thank you very much."
Callow youth: "Anything else for you...?"
Me: " PETROL..! ALL I WANTED WAS THE BLEEDING PETROL..!! I don't want a half pound bar of fruit and nut, a choco Latte Frappe, or Lapsang fucking Suchong in a flimsy cardboard cup. PETROL..! That is all i wanted. Did i ask for anything else..? I would have collected it on my way in or asked you for it before offering you my cash, wouldn't i... WOULDN'T I..?"
That's what i wanted to scream at the spotty faced young whelk at the counter anyway. Today's counter staff of the forecourt variety are now instructed by their bosses to try and sell any old pap from the 'nearing the sell by date' box to every customer who passes in front of them. Even if i come in every day, they ask me the same bloody questions, trying to sell me the same bloody things.
One day... One day, i'm going to really hurt someone.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
Callow youth: "Would you like some chocolate? Only one pound a bar..?"
Me: "No, thank you very much."
Callow youth: "Coffee, Tea...?"
Me: (Sigh) "No, thank you very much."
Callow youth: "Anything else for you...?"
Me: " PETROL..! ALL I WANTED WAS THE BLEEDING PETROL..!! I don't want a half pound bar of fruit and nut, a choco Latte Frappe, or Lapsang fucking Suchong in a flimsy cardboard cup. PETROL..! That is all i wanted. Did i ask for anything else..? I would have collected it on my way in or asked you for it before offering you my cash, wouldn't i... WOULDN'T I..?"
That's what i wanted to scream at the spotty faced young whelk at the counter anyway. Today's counter staff of the forecourt variety are now instructed by their bosses to try and sell any old pap from the 'nearing the sell by date' box to every customer who passes in front of them. Even if i come in every day, they ask me the same bloody questions, trying to sell me the same bloody things.
One day... One day, i'm going to really hurt someone.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
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