So there i was, happily ensconced in the bathroom reading Twitter on the bog when the awful, terrible news came through that the pop foursome JLS were to split up. It was an almost comic symbiotic relationship that i have with my twitter friends.
The news came as such a shock to my system that i admit a little fart escaped. Finishing my ablutions, i scratched my balls, coughed and washed my hands. I then turned on the BBC Breakfast news... It was all too real, they had indeed split to spend more time with their cash.
I thought about the dozens of fans around the world who were by now crying into their cereal bowls, mixing the bitter sweet tears of anguish with coco pops and milk. It took me right back to the time that i heard the news of the global phenomenon that was Black Lace of Aga-Doo fame, when their pop partnership was rent asunder...The lonely days of crying under my duvet and not talking to my wife were a tough time.
The feeling then of heartbreak was all so much to bear that i almost called the Black Lace counselling hotline. I will never forget it.
I feel for the JLS fans. I know their pain. If only we as a nation could get together somehow to find who in Britain has the talent to replace the fun foursome. A talent show perhaps, we could call it Britain has a talented voice with the X factor... Or something.
Surely we could find a music producer with the money to find such a replacement. A hands off mentor type who would let them grow, become musically accomplished and find their own style. There could be judges... How about Jimmy Tarbuck or Shane Ritchie..?
All i know is that there are not enough boy bands out there with such talent and now is the time to do something about that. We could find a cute one, a sporty one, a thick one and an impossibly good looking one that eventually gets all the money and fame...
But maybe i live in a dream world.
For now though, i will always remember this day. The day JLS split up. It will be forever etched in my mind with scratching my balls whilst looking in the mirror, having just evacuated my bowels.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
The news came as such a shock to my system that i admit a little fart escaped. Finishing my ablutions, i scratched my balls, coughed and washed my hands. I then turned on the BBC Breakfast news... It was all too real, they had indeed split to spend more time with their cash.
I thought about the dozens of fans around the world who were by now crying into their cereal bowls, mixing the bitter sweet tears of anguish with coco pops and milk. It took me right back to the time that i heard the news of the global phenomenon that was Black Lace of Aga-Doo fame, when their pop partnership was rent asunder...The lonely days of crying under my duvet and not talking to my wife were a tough time.
The feeling then of heartbreak was all so much to bear that i almost called the Black Lace counselling hotline. I will never forget it.
I feel for the JLS fans. I know their pain. If only we as a nation could get together somehow to find who in Britain has the talent to replace the fun foursome. A talent show perhaps, we could call it Britain has a talented voice with the X factor... Or something.
Surely we could find a music producer with the money to find such a replacement. A hands off mentor type who would let them grow, become musically accomplished and find their own style. There could be judges... How about Jimmy Tarbuck or Shane Ritchie..?
All i know is that there are not enough boy bands out there with such talent and now is the time to do something about that. We could find a cute one, a sporty one, a thick one and an impossibly good looking one that eventually gets all the money and fame...
But maybe i live in a dream world.
For now though, i will always remember this day. The day JLS split up. It will be forever etched in my mind with scratching my balls whilst looking in the mirror, having just evacuated my bowels.
Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.
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