Wednesday, 4 September 2013

Energy Drinks Disaster Awaits.

I've noticed a lot of things over the last few months, like young people who say 'like' a lot... What I mean is, like, I want to, like, tell you something, like. But that isn't what I want to talk to you about today... Like.

No... What it is, is people who drink large amounts of energy drink for no good reason. These people are generally hanging around street corners, guzzling energy drinks as if they have just stopped for a breather in a particularly long run. I don't think they need the energy for anything other than watching passing folk and cars.

I've noticed them in cafe's, shops, and even at their place of work, where they apparently need more and more energy in order to catch up on Facebook or get up to do the filing. This is not normal. For a start, energy drinks tend to taste like shit. Secondly, I believe they are dangerous to the general well being of society.

It's a wonder that they manage to do anything except palpitate and sweat their way through the working day. Do they need one first thing in the morning..?

"I've got a hard day at the office today dear... New delivery of paper clips. Pass me a can of CaffPow would you..? I'll pour it on my cornflakes. Would I like a lift to work..? No thanks dear, I'll bounce my way there."

Whatever happened to a coffee in the morning and a stiff Scotch at the end of the day to wind down..? I don't know about you, but my day is not complete without nodding off to the early evening soaps at the end of the day, which is why they are made in the first place, to get the populace to go to bed early and stop them causing trouble on the streets.

More and more people though are drinking these energy drinks. And this in turn can make them stay awake and alert until at least 10 o'clock in the evening... Maybe even 11. It's a recipe for disaster.

I tell you this, the upsurge in the energy drink market is a slippery slope to caffeine and sugar induced rioting in the streets. These energy drinks should be banned and replaced with warming cups of Ovaltine and a Radio 4 play to settle them down a bit. I hope the powers that be are reading this...

One day you will thank me.

Paul Martin is @ukcameraman on Twitter.